This morning I got up and realized I am the oldest person left. I am the oldest grandchild on both sides of my family. All my siblings and cousins are younger. This is scary. No they don't look up to me and they don't listen and I don't ask them to.
Reality set in that I have things to do and I am not getting any younger. My body tells me I feel like 103 years old, but my mind says 36 years old. Strange how that happens. Where do the years go?
Today is finalizing my mother's affairs or at least the start of it. Still many things to do and yet where do I start. We all go through this stage and it isn't easy to admit to yourself this is final.
I have caught myself thinking I need to go call Mom. Tell her how my day went. I have called my Mother everyday for over 30 years. Now there is no one to call. I catch myself think what would mom do with something. Yes somethings are still bothering me, but for the most part I do not feel guilty over anything because we told each other the last day we loved each other. She was able to tell me that.
She had a hard life, but it was full of love by those that surrounded her. I hope I have that love from the rest of my family. I think I do. Hope you do to. Chris